Capturing funny conversations for people who weren’t there is hard. But this one is worth trying. It is relevant that Pakistani Friend 2 in the dialog below is a big Pakistani nationalist, and we’ve spent a lot of time talking about international politics and the negative perceptions towards American policies.
Me to Pakistani Friend 1: “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
Pakistani Friend 1: “Except in Pakistan, if you kill my father, I won’t kill you. I’ll kill your father.”
Me: “What?”
PF1: “Yes. And if you kill my friend, I don’t kill you. I kill your friend.”
Me: “So if I kill you, somebody else kills him [pointing to PF2]?”
PF2/PF1: “Correct.”
Me [wrapping my head around this]: “So . . . I should make friends with my enemy [pointing at PF2], kill my other enemy, and then somebody else will kill you [PF2]. Two enemies for the price of one.”
Eye-rolling Egyptian Guy to general laughter: “Americans.”
Me [extending my hand to PF2 with a broad smile]: “Let’s make a treaty.”