Note: The first half of 2015 was a time of spiritual crisis for me. Doubts and questions that had been building for years came to a head in a moment of personal and family trauma. One of the outputs of that period was this prayer which I wrote carefully but have–in truth–only seldom prayed. (DL, Sept. 12, 2021)

---

Maker of Spacetime and Human Minds, you who are the Author of Good and Source of Light, please hear my prayer and grant my request:

I wander in uncertainty as to your truth and the path to your right hand. I want to know you as you would be known and rejoice in the joy that only can be found in the warmth of your fellowship. 

I confess the sinful selfishness that has in part led me to this place. I have in deceit worshipped my own diversions and been thoughtless of the things of God. In mercy you have led me away from some of those to this new place. I wait for you to meet me here, and trust that you are arranging a meeting in your good time. 

I humbly acknowledge the limitations of my mind and reason in this quest. The data is too voluminous, varied, and indeterminate and my capabilities far too limited for me too find safe harbor solely of my own efforts. 

Please have mercy on me and open my eyes to the truth. Give the gift of faith where it is lacking; give sound conclusions where they are missing. 

I use the mental resources you have given to me in this quest; I beg you help me  use them rightly–for your glory and my safety. 

Hear my prayer, O God, I plead.