Note: The two years we spent in Saudi Arabia were by general consensus the best two years of our family life. The kids were all three still at home but all old enough to have independent experiences and remember stuff. And Saudi itself was fantastic. Still, there were some moments. Boy were there. Dealing with customer service in any form was always liable to be memorable. Putting stories like this on Facebook was a fun way to stay connected with the folks back home. (DL, June 10, 2023).
Saudi customer service strikes again:
Step 1) Send a wire transfer to the US
Step 2) Ten days pass.
Step 3) Wire transfer never arrives
Step 4) Call US bank:
“Wire transfer much?”
“Nope. Sorry.”
Step 5) Take a half day off work to shuttle around town and stand in line at Saudi bank.
Step 6) Finally get your number called at Saudi bank.
“Wire transfer much?”
“Looks fine on our side. System shows successfully delivered.”
“Um, yeah, it never arrived.”
“Hmmmm. Call our middle-man in New York. It’s a Pakistani bank you’ve never heard of.”
Step 7) Call Pakistani bank in NYC.
“Wire transfer much?”
“Yeah, we see it here, August 31 to First Republic Bank.”
“Yeah, that’s definitely not the right recipient bank.”
“Strange. We’ll look into it.”
Step 8) Call Pakistani bank multiple times over several days. Final answer, “We returned these funds to your Saudi bank fifteen days ago. Check with them.”
Step 9) Wait for Eid holiday to end in Saudi because all banks are closed for one week.
Step 10) Take a half day off work to shuttle around town and stand in line at Saudi bank.
Step 11) Finally get your number called at Saudi bank.
“Yo, where’s my money?”
“At your US bank. Transfer shows as completed successfully.”
“Your system is wrong. You definitely have my money somewhere.”
“It is against the laws of nature to question the system. You should open a ticket.”
“I did open a ticket—before Eid.”
“Ah, yes, I see. We closed that ticket. I will open a new ticket.”
“Why was my ticket closed? My issue is definitely not resolved.”
“We performed one action and thus closed the ticket. I will open another.”
Continue along these lines for some time. End result:
“This is definitely no one’s fault. Everything is working fine. Go away now and we’ll follow up with you after we get to the bottom of the matter.”
Step 12) Go eat a couple donuts.
Step 13) Get a text the next day (still during the US weekend) notifying you of a deposit to your Saudi account. Wire transfer has been returned less exchange rate losses and wire transfer fees.
Step 14) Call the guy at the customer service desk.
“So, what’s the status on my wire transfer issue?”
“Your issue has been resolved successfully. We are an excellent bank and happy to serve you.”
“Yeah, but the amount you returned is less than what I sent.”
“Ah, I see. You will have to open a ticket about that.”
“Seriously? Why can’t you just help me now?”
“It’s not my job.”
“Oh, it’s on now.”
“It is against the laws of nature for me to take any action without specific written instructions in the form of a ticket. But if you open a ticket, I will personally see to it that a different exchange rate is applied to your refund.”
“I already OPENED a ticket!”
“That ticket has been closed because your issue was resolved successfully.”
” . . . “
“How else may I offer you excellent service today?”
“What about the wire transfer fee that was separately assessed?”
“That will not be returned under any circumstances.”