Category Archives: Thoughts

Thoughts

On Male Monogamy

Note: This Facebook post is the rawest piece of writing I have ever published. Even today it’s hard to publish without some trepidation about being so transparent on the open Internet. But a core principle of this blog is to be honest about my intellectual and religious journey through life. I am committed to letting my past writing speak for itself, first and foremost as a reminder to me of where I’ve been. Looking back on this post now, a couple things have changed. First and foremost, I am no longer living as an unbeliever. I pray intentionally, and I have begun to read the Bible. I still see many reasons to doubt the historicity of parts of the Bible, but it has become increasingly clear to me that the Bible offers the only coherent framework for living that is accessible to me. Therefore, I accept the Bible as my guidebook for life and seek in faith to follow Christ in how I live. Secondly, the language of this piece is almost brutally jaded and unremorseful. Looking back and based on some of the feedback I received at the time, I wish it had been more gentle and treated pornography use s a sin of which to be ashamed. At the end of the post is a follow-up comment I posted a week later. (DL, June 10, 2023).

www.challies.com/articles/my-wifes-plea-to-christian-men

I want my Christian friends to read and let this article sink in.
In particular, absorb the line of thought reflected in the following quote. There are several threads in it I want to unpack.

Why do so many men, and even so many Christian men, have such weakness when it comes to sexual sin? . . . Why are so many of you failing . . .? Is it really that difficult? You would almost think that this one sin is beyond the power of the Holy Spirit. . . . The only conclusion I can come to is that you are so consumed with self-gratification that you are not willing to fight, and I mean really willing to fight, this sin. If it’s not that you can’t, it must be that you won’t.

I have some specific thoughts in response.

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Thoughts

Sehnsucht

Note: This is a lightly edited version of an e-mail I sent on May 10, 2015. The concept of Sehnsucht was originally introduced to me by a dear friend (Gloria Repp) some years prior. Since writing this I have experienced what I only know how to describe as a kind of emotional burnout. The glimpses described her stopped. Whether from aging, emotional trauma, or some other cause I do not know. Nevertheless, it feels a bit like a part of my brain–the emotionally imaginative and hopeful part–has burnt out. Hopefully not forever. (DL, Dec. 4, 2022)

Sehnsucht is a German word. It means “longing.”

But it represents something more than that English word conveys. It is a very difficult concept for me to explain, but it’s a very important one, for it a key to my secret heart, my secret longing. In Surprised by Joy, C. S. Lewis uses the word “Joy” in a special way. It’s a feeling he would get at certain unexpected moments while reading or walking in the countryside or listening to music. More than happiness, more than jollity, it’s like for a moment he would get a feeling or a glimpse of something deeper, more real, more perfect than this world. He would be taken beyond this world for a moment and filled with wonder; he would be surprised by joy. And those glimpses of joy begat a longing for joy, a longing for the perfect, a longing that led him to search for it in literature and music and philosophy till he found it in Christ. That longing for joy, for the perfect and complete, could be called sehnsucht,

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Thoughts

Morality Presupposes Transcendence

Note: This series of Facebook comments began as a response to someone I’ve forgotten on a friend’s post that I’ve also forgotten. Through all my decade plus of spiritual doubt, I never lost confidence in—and still have never lost—the observation expressed in this post that without a transcendent reality beyond the material universe, there can be no rational basis for the concepts of Good an Evil. I only have my part of the exchange. Summary comments have been added for clarity. (DL, June 13, 2023).

What the quote [OP’s Name Redacted] posted addresses is a fundamental flaw with philosophical materialism. If there is no reality beyond the matter of this universe, then talking about good and evil is meaningless.

States of matter cannot be good or evil. They are simply configurations of atoms. A supernova doesn’t have moral quality, neither does an avalanche. Both are simply matter in motion.

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Thoughts

The Biological Roots of the Self

Note: This post was originally a comment in a Facebook thread, the context of which has been totally lost to me. It was written 2-3 years into the my journey into spiritual doubt. While I don’t remember the Facebook thread that provoked the comment, I do remember the origin of the line of thought. Through casual conversations with my boss at work, I came to realize that almost everything I consider ‘me’ is rooted in genetics and circumstance. ‘American.’ ‘Male.’ ‘White.’ ‘Verbal.’ ‘Analytical.’ ‘Nerdy.’ ‘English-speaking.’ Once my brain and body are stripped away and Earth and all its cultures are left behind, what is left of me that is actually ‘me’? Even if we are resurrected after death as the Bible teaches, what would be left of us that was recognizable? This is another item that as I inhabit the life of faith I have to simply set aside as beyond knowing. (DL, June 13, 2023).

Is there any part of your consciousness that will survive the destruction of your brain?

Pointers to the answer:

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Thoughts

Christian, consider what you read

Note: This article, my first ever piece of published commentary on any topic, appeared in the Bob Jones University student newspaper, The Collegian (Vol 12, No 7), for which I was a staff writer my third and final undergraduate year. I don’t remember writing the piece, and if I had not had the opportunity recently to peruse the bound back issues of The Collegian at the university library, it would have remained forgotten. It is a good snapshot of my mindset during that period in my life, and the core issue of avoiding moral poison while interacting with fictional worlds has continued to be of interest to me, especially in the context of video games and shows. My current feelings toward shows like Game of Thrones and The Idol closely track my feelings then towards Anne Rice and Stephen King. (I have reduced the number of paragraphs in the original to better suit the wider columns of this format.) (DL, June 6, 2023).

Almost everybody likes to settle in with a good book every once in a while and forget the frustrations of the day. A well-written book paints a picture for our imagination in a way few things can. Unfortunately, while enjoying the pleasures books have to offer, we sometimes drop our guard and forget to consider what we read. As Dr. Bob pointed out in chapel recently, the world likes to hide its philosophy in sentimental packages that even Christians may find appealing. While this is an often-noted problem with Hollywood films, it’s equally so with worldly books.

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